Celiac Disease

I have celiac disease, which means that my body has a meltdown and attacks itself when I eat gluten. This is technically an autoimmune disease because of the mechanics, but for restaurant and food safety purposes it can be handled as an allergy. Some people get really upset when you call it a gluten allergy. I consider it "socially an allergy" and do not care.

Gluten is most popularly known as a protein that is in wheat, but it is also in barley and rye. Malt flavoring (which is in some chocolate, some corn flakes, and brand name Rice Krispies) also contains gluten. This leads to fun scenarios where I can use wheat flour that has had the gluten removed but I can't eat a rice krispy treat.

FAQ

Can you eat _____

• Rice- Yes, the category of "grain" is not a problem in and of itself.
• This organic pasta- No, you are thinking of a different fad diet.
• European wheat/einkhorn/sourdough- No, because my body can't handle the gluten. It doesn't matter that there are different pesticides, different types of wheat, or lower gluten(sourdough). I need there to be none.
• This is vegan- You are thinking of a different fad diet.

I would die if I couldn't eat bread!

My doctor ran a bunch of tests on me when we were trying to figure this out. I was having symptoms that lined up with weird "your body forgot how to make blood" types of anemia and rare cancers. I'm thrilled I just have to eat shitty, subpar bread for the rest of my life. Everyone you say this to thinks you suck, by the way.

What happens if you do eat some gluten? How do you know?

It takes about two hours for me to start feeling sick because celiac attacks your small intestine. I think this is why people think we lie about it being a problem. Theoretically I could eat a sandwich in front of you at lunch and seem fine until I got home. Now that I am "just" occasionally getting trace amounts of gluten by mistake, I get the worlds worst stomach ache, bloat up like a little blimp, have violent diarrhea, and am fatigued for about four hours. I can tend to have some lingering depression the next day.

Before we knew what was happening I was getting weekly migraines that were becoming more resistant to medication and had so much systemic inflammation that I couldn't reach into my refrigerator without breaking out into hives from the cold air. I also have low bone density in my legs, which is probably related to not absorbing nutrients well due to intestinal damage.

The part of your intestine that is damaged in celiac disease is the same part that makes lactase, which lets you digest the lactose in dairy. I was lactose intolerant for a while but the universe did throw me a bone and give me cheese back.

Are you still on that diet?

I've gained weight now that my body is functioning properly and it's really wild that people see me and think its acceptable for me to try to be losing weight.

What CAN you eat?

A lot of things! I'm working on a recipe page because people really struggle with this, but for now have some resources.

• Skinnytaste- I hate that she's called this, but her recipes are always solid and her website lets you sort by dietary restrictions. I just ignore her intended portion sizes for a lot of the meals.
• Budget Bytes- Recipes are genuinely easy and fit the time estimates given. They let you sort by dietary restriction.
• Gluten Free on a Shoestring- I haven't been baking as much now that I'm gluten free, but when I do it's from here.
• Find Me Gluten Free- Crowdsourced restaurant information. There is still a 50% chance I get sick at non-gluten free dedicated facilities, but this helps me narrow down my options.